You're Here

You’re here… I felt your presence the second you walked in
My heart started pounding and I got goose bumps on my skin
My senses suddenly came alive causing my sexual energy to rise
I feel like I am the winner about to claim the grand prize
The anticipation of seeing you makes my yoni tingle and wet
I want to make love to you right now but I know we can’t just yet
I am admiring you from afar, loving everything I see
Your eyes scan the room and stop when they zoom in on me
I love to see that twinkle in your eye and smile on your face
It makes my heart skip a beat and my breathing pick up pace
I give you that sex look letting you know that I want you
You acknowledge me with a nod and grin like you always do
You’re mingling while watching me out the corner of your eye
I can’t concentrate on what’s being said no matter how hard I try
I’m ready to get home so we can try some new things
Maybe do a little role playing and see what else the night brings
Whatever it brings I know it’s going to be a good night
My goal is to please you and love you right

My True Essence

Living Like A Turtle

When I’m asked to describe myself, I often refer to myself as a turtle. I say a turtle because I have lived my life as such. Staying inside my protective shell, hidden away from the drama, disappointment, back stabbing, “all about me” society we live in. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. Years ago after being hurt and betrayed by some of the people I trusted most; I balled up and climbed into my shell. I tell you I loved my shell.  It was my way of dealing with the pain of it all or not dealing with it all I should say. It worked well for me though… for a long time, and I was good with that.

I woke up one day feeling so alone. Surrounded by family, but yet, still alone.  It was like I was hidden too deep within myself... like a shell within my shell. It was then that I realized I could no longer live my life like a turtle. Although my shell made me feel protected and safe, I sometimes feel it did more harm than good. It served its purpose of keeping out the bad but it also kept out the good. It kept some of the right people from getting close to me especially some of the key people who should've been close to me.  On that day, I decided I needed to turtle up and poke my head out into the real world.  I started opening up to receiving new friendships and nourishing the ones I had neglected over the years. I vowed to stop living within myself.

I will admit things were going well for a while. I got really comfortable outside my shell. Then damn… it happened.  Lies were told, truths were twisted, confidences were broken, and friendships shattered. All of the horrible things I tried to shelter myself from came crashing down around me. As a result, I hauled my behind back to my shell as fast as I could because it’s safe there. It protects me. It keeps all of the negativity and foolishness out.  I know I can’t live my life in this shell forever but I will stay here until I am comfortable enough to come out again. The difference this time is I promise not to lose myself within my shell. Despite it all, I love life. I love living... even if it’s like a turtle.

My True Essence

Unequally Yoked

I Love You... But I Can't Stand You Sometimes

I love you

But I can’t stand you sometimes
One minute…I want to love you
The next…kill you and just do the time
Loving you is like being on a roller coaster
We go round and round, fast and slow
Some days we’re riding high; other days we’re low
I get mad becuz you don’t always treat me right
I will admit you’re good
But your game ain’t airtight
I can tell you’re used to young girls
The ones you just sex and rock their world
Fill their head with all kinds of bullshit
Served up so good even you believe it
You are a smooth brother
I can’t help but give you that
You even had me hooked
Like an addict on crack
But I shook it off
Got myself back on track
Stopped tripping about you
And started focusing on me and mine
Yeah I love you
But I can’t stand you sometimes....

My True Essence