My Dimming Light...

For years I dimmed my light
I didn’t want it to shine bright
Not shine bright
Who am I kidding
I didn’t want it to shine at all
Showing every time I fall
Spotlighting my every flaw
Every imperfection
And lack of direction

To dim my light

I chose to stay out of sight
Hidden in the shadows
Behind the scenes
Dark enough not to be seen
Yet light enough to see
That way no one noticed me
They never saw my face
The shadows were my safe place

I dimmed my light to hide

I hid behind big clothes
So my body wouldn’t show
I hid behind fake laughs and smiles
Stayed away from the latest styles
I hid behind food
Sometimes ate so fast I barely chewed
Gained lots and lots of weight
All of these were a form of self-hate

Then one day I just got tired
Tired not going after the things I desired

Not living life to the fullest like I should
Not doing all the great things I know I could
So I stepped out of the darkness
Starting walking into the light
Now…  my dim light shines so bright

My True Essence