The Five Love Languages

I know everyone is familiar with, or at least, has heard of the Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, a famous marriage counselor with over 30 years experience. I have listed the Five love Languages below along with a description of each.

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language is not all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

I thought hard about this, trying to decide which one of the languages best suited me. I believe "Acts of Service" would be number one for me. I am not big on words, compliments, gifts, physical touch, etc. Now, please don't get it twisted, I do like those things but it's the small things that mean so much to me. Helping me out around the house without being asked. Cooking so I don't have to. Washing my car. Stuff like that.

After Acts of Service would come Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time and then Receiving Gifts.

What love language best suites you?

Peace and Blessings.

My True Essence

Where are the good black men?

Over the last few months, I have talked to a lot of single black women who complain about the lack of good black men out there. They feel the good black man is scarce and very hard to find. Some of my sisters feel when do they meet a single man with potential, he feels he is a rare commodity and should be treated like a King. He feels since he has so many options he should be catered to. Hmmmmm . . . I don't really know if I agree with that. However, I do believe there are some really good black men out there. They might be a little hard to find but they are definitely out there. Why should the black women limit herself to just dating black men? Why not open our minds and options to all men? Love is love right...

Zane's Sex Chronicles

I watched Zane’s Sex Chronicles the other night on Cinemax. First, let me say that I am a huge Zane fan. I read her first book Sex Chronicles 1 and half of Sex Chronicles 2. After a while, it just started to sound the same. How many ways can lick, suck, whatever . . . Anyway, back to the tv show. I have watched it maybe three or four times and found it to be entertaining. My problem with it is this: everyone and everything is just sooooo perfect. Everybody has tight little bodies, six packs, etc. Now I know the players have to look good because who wants to see some unattractive people having sex right? I get that but everyone doesn’t have to be perfect. Even in the middle of sexual acts, everyone is perfect. The moans, groans and ahhhhhs are even prefect. I watched about 10 minutes of it and turned. I wouldn’t mind seeing some not-so-perfect but yet attractive people on there who can make an ugly feel so good face. Am I tripping? Being too sensitive? Is it just me??

I'm back!

Hey family. Wow! It's been way over a year since I have posted to this blog. Time really does fly. Well, the last year has been a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs. I have been praying about this blog now for a while. Asking for guidance in what direction I wanted to take it. Meaning if I wanted to remain anonymous or reveal my identity to the world. I have decided to go public. In doing so, I hope I can inspire someone, anyone along the way.

I love to challenge the mind; others as well as my own. Ask thought provoking questions that make you look deep for the answers. I will have some good days and I will have some bad days. My mind is always busy analyzing, seeking, meditating, networking, etc. I ask that you bear with me on this journey as it unfolds.

Stay tuned. Peace and Blessings.

My True Essence