Self-Talk

For years I have been a victim to my own negative self-talk
Tripping myself up every time I tried to move forward in my walk
Letting my own thoughts of my mistakes and shame
Stop me in my tracks and throw me completely off my game

On the outside by looking at me you’d never know

You’d see the dimpled smile and the “fake it to make it” glow
The smile that I was able to turn on and off light a switch
In the blink of an eye without missing a beat or making a flitch

One day I wrote down everything that was running through my mind

I was shocked I hadn’t written down one word that was kind
It was all negative self-talk about my health and physical being
It hurt me to my core because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing

Right then my spirit spoke and I was able to see things clearer

I prayed and made a promise to the woman in the mirror
That I would control all of the negative thoughts in my head
And focus on the awesome person standing in the mirror instead

My True Essence ©

Free Yourself

At some point, you have to Free Yourself…


Free yourself from all of the hurt and pain...
From all the things you let clog your brain

Free yourself from being a prisoner in your own mind
From being unable to enjoy life and unwind


Free yourself from your own restraints
From being miserable and full of complaints


Free yourself from the bondage of your past
From being afraid to let go and be happy at last


Free yourself from being unable to be still and free
Free yourself from being your own worst enemy


My True Essence ©

Pain of Losing Our Black Men and Boys

I am angry, frustrated and hurt from the pain
The pain of our sons and brothers being slain...

Hunted like animals in the middle of hunting season
Shot down in the streets and killed for no reason

I feel the pain of the mother who loss her precious son
Who can’t believe his life was taken before it really begun

I feel the pain of the wife who loss her lover and soul mate
Who knew he was the one on their very first date

I feel the pain of the daughter who loss the one that called her Queen
Who encouraged her to study, be smart and follow her dreams

I feel the pain of the son who loss his best example of being a man
Who taught him to work hard and to always do the best he can

They will never again get to see the rising or setting of the sun
Or grow old while spending time with their love ones

They will never again get to see the joy that comes with living
Or enjoy another food and fun-filled family Thanksgiving

Their lives taken away because of the mere color of their skin
By racists who have a deep rooted hatred for black people within

Equal rights definitely do not mean there are equal rights for us all
The legal system is corrupt and in need of a serious overhaul

The system has clearly failed when video footage exists of a crime
But yet does not even guarantee a conviction and sentencing of any time
These racists who don’t care about the lives they destroy and kill
Have to pay for what they have done to our black men and boys and they will

My True Essence ©

Wings clipped
Faith stripped
Vision blurred
Grounded like a wounded bird
Wallowing in our chosen mess ...
Feeling guilty and stressed
Struggling to deal with our choices
While trying to ignore the internal voices
Saying why are you in this place
Can you survive in this space
So you dig deep, deep down within
And fight your way out of the Lion's Den
When you look at the scars you've earned
You realize there's power in the lessons learned

My True Essence

Here I Stand

Here I stand
Looking in the mirror
Wishing my vision was clearer
Because I’m not liking what I see
I'm trying to figure out...
What has happened to me

Here I stand
Confused and abused
Mistreated and misunderstood
Questioning my own womanhood
Tired of always having to be strong
Ready to fight whatever battle comes along


Here I stand
Choking on feelings I can’t express
Afraid to get things I need to off my chest
Bottling up my all of these emotions
Carrying them around like some secret potion
One that will destroy what makes me whole
Eat away and darken my precious soul


Here I stand
I’ve fallen so many times I’m covered in mud
Even shed some tears and lost some blood
But I keep fighting every time I fall
Kicking and screaming, giving it my all
Because my struggles can’t keep me down
I made it out and I’m back on solid ground
Here I stand


My True Essence

Watching You

Here I stand
Looking in the mirror
Wishing my vision was clearer
Because I’m not liking what I see
I'm trying to figure out...
What has happened to me

Here I stand
Confused and abused
Mistreated and misunderstood
Questioning my own womanhood
Tired of always having to be strong
Ready to fight whatever battle comes along


Here I stand
Choking on feelings I can’t express
Afraid to get things I need to off my chest
Bottling up my all of these emotions
Carrying them around like some secret potion
One that will destroy what makes me whole
Eat away and darken my precious soul


Here I stand
I’ve fallen so many times I’m covered in mud
Even shed some tears and lost some blood
But I keep fighting every time I fall
Kicking and screaming, giving it my all
Because my struggles can’t keep me down
I made it out and I’m back on solid ground
Here I stand


My True Essence

The Memory

I can feel your presence just like you’re here
I can smell you even though you’re not near
I can see you not with my eyes but with my heart...
It’s you that keeps me from coming apart
I love us, the way we move and the way we grind
The memories are still fresh in my mind

I remember...

You making me so hot I’m burning from within
Seeing the smoke coming off my skin
Your touch causing me tingle and shiver
My wet yoni running steady like a river
Me cumming and cumming and cumming
Flowing like a broken faucet in need of plumbing


I remember…
You loving me like no other has done before
Me speaking in tongue and begging you for more
You giving me all you got from dust to dawn
So good the scent of us lingers on
The smile on your face as I listen to you moan and groan
It lets me know you are in the zone


I remember…


My True Essence

Music to My Ears

I like the ear waves and vibrations of you sexing me
It’s like my favorite song sang in the perfect key
It’s what I call your sexy man growl...
Deep and sensual like an animal on the prowl
Hearing it makes my yoni nice and wet
My love meter rise and my back sweat
My yoni is slippery and making slushing sounds
I am matching your deep strokes pound for pound
Back arched as you are fucking me with your love stick
That long, thick and strong chocolate dick
I’m getting it so good I’m on the verge of tears
And your man growl is music to my ears

My True Essence

I’m falling…

I can feel myself slipping
My protective shield of armor ripping
I can tell with each step I make...
With each single breath I take
My sense of security is quickly fading away
Leaving me as open prey to whatever attacks come my way

I’m falling…


I can feel my peace seeping out of me
My precious spirit is no longer free
The calmness that sets my soul at ease
The faith that keeps me on my knees
Has left me stumbling and shaky on own feet
With a heart that hurts with every beat


I’m falling…


My True Essence

Best Part of Me

You are the best part of me
My vision when I can’t see
My nourishment when I mentally can’t eat...
My strength when I’m exhausted and beat
My sleeping pill when I’m too tired to rest
My peace when I’m on edge and stressed
My calm in the middle of a raging storm
The one who holds me tight and keeps me warm

You feel me but not just with your touch

You always provide when I don’t have much
You rescue me when I’m lost and confused
You bathe me when I’m battered and bruised
You catch me when I’m spinning out of control
You listen to me as I cry and bare my soul
The one who loves me and makes me feel whole


You see me even with my flaws, faults and all
You make me hold my head up and stand tall
You motivate me to be the best I can be
You are without a doubt the best part me


My True Essence

She You Seek...

Am I the she you seek?
Would that be a super freak?
The one who will ride you until her knees get weak and then bend over, open it up and take all of your meat.
Would she be the one with head game that would put Super Head to shame?
Sucking you until you pop, then licking up every last drop.
Treating you like her favorite lollipop.
Got your toes curled and you begging her to stop.
Am I the she you seek? Come on babe and get you some.
I got 99 fears but dick ain’t one…


My True Essence

High Off Love

You got me high off love like a junky after the first hit of the day
Crazy like a woman who’s thrown her common sense away...

We have a connection on a much deeper level than sex
A beautiful combination of us, simple yet deeply complex
Oh but the sex is like a fantasy that became a reality
Our inhibitions were shattered and set free
You make love to me as if you created the art of love making
It leaves me drenched in sweat with my body shaking
I love how you look at me in the eye with every thrust
And how you man growl when you’re about to bust
You’re so deep inside me I can feel the heartbeat of your dick
Sending shock waves through my yoni with every tick
We’re going at it like we’re being watched and putting on a show
Grooving to a smooth sexy melody only we know
Even though drugs are something I want no parts of
I don’t mind at all being high off love


My True Essence

Feening

I’m feening like a drug addict
With a bad got to get high habit
Only my addiction is to sex...
Roughnecks with big dicks and paychecks

I got to have it morning, noon and night
And I need the pipe to be laid just right
I want it long, hard and thick

A confident, curved and pretty dick


Sitting here thinking about what’s to come
Has me horny as hell and ready to get some
Imagining the taste of your cream on my tongue
Has me hot, bothered and drenched in sweat
My yoni throbbing and soaking wet


Yes I like to live on the wild side
I want to be taken on nasty sex ride
Spank me, choke me
Slowly deep stroke me
Then release the beast inside of you
And I will take it all in like I always do


I’m feening…


My True Essence

Notes

There was a note left on my car window today
She said her name was Tasia and she had a lot to say
First, she wanted me to know she didn't know about me ...
You told her you were single and fancy free

Single she believed because you never wore a wedding ring

Free because you told her you were looking for a plaything
She said you spoke of an ex who hurt you and did you wrong
But that I was a part of your past now and long gone

She said you pursued her for close to a year
How you whispered sweet promises in her ear
She told of being showered with money, gifts and trips
And how you sexed her with handcuffs, blindfolds and whips

You told her you traveled a lot in and out of town
So she didn't question the days when you didn't come around
She figured she struck gold when you came into her life
But you neglected to tell her you had a damn wife


She said she found out about me by pure accident
You used the wrong checkbook when you paid her rent
At the top of the check was your name and mine
She realized then you had been lying the whole time


She didn't want to hurt me, she told me so
She left the note because she felt I deserved to know
It seems everything you told her about me was a lie
I will probably never understand the reasons why
I want you to know this is my note to you saying goodbye


My True Essence

Fresh In My Mind

Your kiss
Your touch
Oh… how I have missed them so much

Your scent
Your tongue
As you say has got me spoiled and sprung

Something was different than it was before
This time was sensual and so much more
More than I ever imagined it would be
It’s because you bring out the naughty side in me

The loud moans and you whispering my name
Turned me on and made me step up my game
The way you filled my sweet honey spot
Had me climbing the walls not wanting you to stop

You say I’m something special and you’re feeling me
I am feeling you too I guess you can see
So if everything you said to me was true
Let’s keep making sweet magic like we do

My True Essence

Sleeping on My Gangsta

I don’t know why folks insist on trying me
It’s like they are fooled by what they see
They see the dimpled smile and assume I’m scared
So they come for me, totally unprepared

Do they think I don’t mean what I say
Or do I just look like I’m easy prey
I keep my gangsta hidden for a reason
Because when it comes out its straight open season

Then when I clap back they say it’s in all fun and games
Will it all be in fun when I starting blasting folks, calling names
I don’t know if they are drama seekers, bullies or pranksters
But I know they better stop sleeping on my gangsta

My True Essence

Bullshit....

This is a crazy world we live in
Filled with all kinds of hatred and sin
It's a struggle trying to live a normal life each day...
Without all the bullshit being thrown our way
Racism is at an all time high
Some can't even hide it if they try
Killing folks live on video tape
Getting sentenced an unbelievable six months for rape
Dogging a black woman for winning Miss USA
Believing everything these crooked cops say
White privilege has it many benefits as well all can see
They get tapped on the hand or just off scot free
All we want do is live life and do right
But it's hard to be black and sleep peacefully at night
Without being treated like a threat or deadbeat
Worrying about our kids being shot dead in the street
The struggle is real and we know it so well
We all have experienced it and have a story to tell
This is bullshit...

My True Essence

Keep You

I like when you talk shit and tease me
But don’t waste my time if you can’t please me
You bragging on your shoe size but we know that’s a myth...
So shut up and show me what you are working with

You say your goal is to please and never disappoint
That your tongue game is always on point
You say you have references to back your claim
But everyone’s definition of satisfaction is not the same
Can you make my yoni beg for the feel of your dick
Or the sensations she gets from your lick
Can you really lay the pipe right like you say you do
If you can do all these things, I may just keep you

My True Essence

Dude of Mine

Let me tell you about this crazy dude of mine
The one trying to play games with my mind
Like the games he’s always playing online
Got me wasting my precious time
Trying to throw me off my grind...
Claiming I’m that special one of a kind
I may not have 20/20 vision but I ain’t blind
I see him chasing the skirts with his doggish behind
I can’t believe he got me twisted and twined
So confused I’m writing words and shit that rhyme
But damn his ass sure is fine
 
My True Essence